Disclaimer: right now, I have 6,500 words to write for two uni assignments, and revision for a v important exam that counts for a decent chunk of my grade for this year. Am I hurriedly planning, essay-writing and revising? Nope, because I’m leisurely writing this blog post. Procrastination at its finest, no?
Here’s a v sheepish ‘hiyaaaa’ from lil old me. We’ve properly hit peak revision time right now, and with exams looming in the next few weeks and the final deadlines of the year flashing up red on university emails, it’s about time we all got our asses in check. But let’s be honest, who wants a post on ‘how to revise’ or ‘tips for not failing first year’ when revision is honestly the dullest thing in the world? Also, it would be 110% more relatable for me to have a chat about all things procrastination, seeing as that is all I’ve been doing these past two weeks of the Easter hols.
Yes, hard work is important and yes, I do work my lil bum off a lot, but sometimes you’ve just got to live a little and take a break, even if that break maybe has come at a rather unfortunate time when deadlines and exams are in very clear sight. But, whatever. After all, it is Easter and universities sometimes (all the time) like to pressure students to breaking point. So with that, here’s a lil lighthearted post about some of the thoughts we tend to have when we should indeed be working, but instead find ourselves procrastinating (ft. some pics of me on a recent procrastination-because-it’s-sunny trip out to Coventry):
Procrastination Thought Number One:
Ah, I’m back at home for Easter. I’m practically a million miles away from university and lectures and seminars and 9ams and deadlines and exams and stress and attempting to adult and I’m starting to think that they could possibly all be a figment of my imagination – in fact, I’m pretty sure they’re a figment of my imagination.
As soon as you step through that front door, it’s honestly like you’ve never left. You happily revert back into your pre-teenage self and thrive in the ‘I’m having home-cooked meals that don’t actually comprise completely of stuff from the freezer and we actually have this amazing invention called a dishwasher that takes the wholly arduous task of washing up by hand literally out of our hands’ stage of existence and suddenly, everything is fine and dandy. The only reminder of your new life is the empty suitcase shoved to the corner of your room because you have no other place for it and the mounting pile of books that are supposed to aid your essay writing, but you leave them mentally and physically to one side and pretend they don’t exist. Everything’s fine and dandy that way.
Procrastination Thought Number Two:
Ooh, the weather is just beaut outside! I can’t possibly spend the day stuck inside working- I just need to get out there and soak up that Vitamin D. With climate change and all that, this might just be the only summer I’m going to get this year.
I have this thing about when the revision slog begins every year. I suppose it’s not exactly scientifically proven, and it might just be down to my bad luck, but I promise you, as soon as April rolls around and I need to be inside getting work done, there is always a legitimate heatwave. No word of a lie, the sky is the kind of cloudless blue you get abroad and the degrees (not the academic kind, bc we’re procrastinating here, obvs) decide to hit the 20’s and I’m debating giving up on education. And then as soon as I work my arse off throughout this tan-worthy weather and earn myself a glorious day off, April showers decide to gift their presence. If you take away any advice from this post, learn to procrastinate wisely. Like when the sun is actually shining, perhaps.
Procrastination Thought Number Three:
Mum’s been getting at me since, like, forever to clean my room. You know what- maybe I’ll do it today!
I mean, you’ve got essays and revision to be doing and I’m sure your parents would prefer you to prioritise these tasks, but let’s be honest, all rationality goes out the window when procrastination kicks in. Before you know it, after deep cleaning your room you’ll be offering to spritz the bathroom and vacuum the entire surface area of your family home, completely in denial that it’s actually your old friend procrastination that’s the force behind this ‘spring clean’, and not the fact that you’re actually trying to be a good child to your parents.
Procrastination Thought Number Four:
Let’s plan my assignment!
Writing out the essay question, followed by the bullet points ‘intro’, ‘main body’ and ‘conclusion’, all highlighted and cloud-bubbled with precision, doesn’t exactly constitute for a plan for that rather weighty assignment that’s due in a week. Planning, my arse.
Procrastination Thought Number Five:
Okay, so I’ve done some work today. To reward myself, I think I should watch some Netflix and then get back on it in, like, maybe half an hour, tops?
You know it’ll soon be 9pm and you’ll have successfully worked your way through this season of Broadchurch, and have started to revisit the first, just to refresh your memory. You’ll promise to get an early night and get straight back on with actual work in the morning, but inside, you really know tomorrow procrastination will yet again greet you with a cheerful, albeit sheepish, evil smile.