I have a lil something I need to get off my chest today. The first thing is a somewhat controversial opinion: I’m so over Black Friday. This time last week, social media was abuzz with all things ‘sale sale sale’ and everyone felt the need to let the world know the best deals they had picked up, pronto. And it got on me tits. The second thing I need to get off my chest? I have found the teddy coat of my DREAMS. This beauty was not picked up in the Black Friday sales, because I honestly could not be bothered with them. It was instead just 20 freakin’ quid from Primark. See, it doesn’t have to be Black Friday for there to be a good deal, folks.
It’s official: Black Friday went and took the ‘yay’ out of Friyay. Yes, we went there. And we mean it. Sorry to be a buzzkill and all, but the prospect of dragging round shop after shop of animalistic, hungry shoppers and attempting to navigate packed store after packed store screams about as much fun as watching paint dry. It’s tedious. Still think this opinion is totally invalid? Here’s a few reasons why we’re so over Black Friday, just to make you rethink your decisions next time the (deffo shouldn’t be) hallowed day rolls around:
Why is it even called Black Friday anyway?
For maybe the first time in his existence, Piers Morgan tweeted with some sense on the morning of Black Friday. He tweeted: ‘How is Black Friday even allowed in this PC-crazed age? Surely has to be Colour-Neutral Friday?’. For the right reasons, we have to be careful with our speech in this day and age, so why there isn’t an uproar about naming a discount day ‘Black Friday’ I don’t know. It’s been discussed that back in the 1800s, plantation owners in Southern America could allegedly buy slaves at a discount on the day after Thanksgiving; the day that has now become eponymous as ‘Black Friday’. Although there are other theories as to how the name came about, it’s still a cause for concern and has led to some people boycotting the retail day altogether.
Everything you want WILL NOT be left in your size
It’s the age old annoyance about Black Friday. You find, say, your dream coat in Topshop, and the price has been slashed from an eye-watering £150 to a meagre £40. It’s a deal you just can’t skip on. Your heart is pounding with excitement, you’ve already imagined every single outfit that will go just perfectly with the coat and you’ve got around five important festive events to grace the coat with. However, as you flick through the remaining coats, you just can’t find your size. Desperately, you attempt to squeeze into a size extra small, and even though you know you’ve never been an extra small and never will be, this extra small will be magical and it will fit. It’s got to fit. It doesn’t. The only deal you really wanted this Black Friday isn’t going to be yours. Cry.
Every shop begins to feel like your local Primark
Head into Urban Outfitters on Black Friday and lo and behold, every display table usually piled high with immaculately folded t-shirts is starting to resemble your local Primarni. T-shirts strewn in messy piles; items of clothing crumpled on the floor; an impossibility to even attempt to find your size. Clutter is okay in our bedrooms- not on the shop floor. Get your act together, retailers- Black Friday shopping is stressful enough as it is. We don’t want to navigate trip hazards whilst attempting to secure a discount.
People. Are. Irritating.
You’ll end up stuck behind a woman who wants to stroke every flippin’ garment in the store in your dash for the Zara sale. There’s leisurely browsing a store, and then there’s crawling at a snail’s pace. Shoppers need to get more of a move on. The worst situation is when you’re making a beeline for a specific section of the store, and every single shopper in the history of the universe wants to wonderfully get in your way. People can be irritating at the best of times, but unleash them on the Black Friday sales and they’re intolerable.
The shops are busier on the actual day, yet the discounts are somehow freakin’ worse
River Island decided to offer 30% off IF YOU SPEND £75 OR MORE. Sorry, what? I don’t want to have to splurge in order to save- that is literally defeating the whole point of a discount. Please stop.
WHY do brands feel the need to drag out Black Friday into 2 weeks of discounts?!
The weekend BEFORE Black Friday had better offers than the day itself. Someone explain the logic behind that? Once Black Friday rolled around, brands decided to drag the discounts out all weekend long. And what even is the point of Cyber Monday? Of course we’re all game for a good discount, but it’s got to a point where our wee pea brains are so utterly baffled about which day is going to have the best discounts and it’s getting to a point where we’d rather not have the whole debacle at all. It’s all just too much to take.
You’re 110% guaranteed to find something you’ve recently bought now in the sale- and that’s a bummer
That ridiculously overpriced Topshop t-shirt that should be around a tenner but ended up costing you around £30? That one top that you wouldn’t have splurged on normally, because the price was extortionate, but it was just too beaut a top to pass up on? Yep, so it’s now the tenner it should have been in the Black Friday sales. And you’re obviously ecstatic about that.
Black Friday should be held accountable for many an impulsive, needless purchase
You really didn’t need another beret to add to your five-strong collection, but it was a cute red shade and it was reduced by a solid 20%. And those expensive candles you’ve bulk-bought for when you have a house and don’t live in student ‘you can’t burn candles here’ accommodation? You don’t need them. The likelihood of you buying a house in at least the next five years is incredibly slim, but they were 30% off, so it was practically a necessity.
You’ll always end up skint whenever Black Friday rolls around; it’s inevitable
Black Friday definitely should not roll around in November. A petition needs to be started to move the date to September. Precisely September 25th, when the student loan decides to grace us and make us that little bit less skint.
Everyone and their nan is tweeting about it
Thanks Chloe from high school for your excessive tweeting on the Black Friday sales, it’s not like we needed a reminder of it or anything. We don’t need to know what bargains you picked up because 1) we don’t actually care and 2) stop going on about that designer handbag reduced by a good few hundred, because we’re incredibly jealous. Black Friday, we’re so over you.