What matters more to you: being happy or content?

When I was at University, as part of the Creative Writing side of my degree, I had to write and compile an anthology on a topic I believed was interesting enough to compile an anthology on. And to me, the modern fascination with ‘happiness’ was interesting enough. I compiled the whole thing, using poetry and short stories I’d attempted to write myself, with famous poetry and short stories from famous authors of years gone by that delved deep into the psyche of what makes us ‘happy’. I was so proud of it. I poured a lot of energy into writing the assignment, and it was a topic close to my heart. I felt I was ‘happy’ with my happiness anthology (lol). That was until I got my grade back, and it was my second lowest grade I’d ever received at University, for the one assignment I actually thought I’d done a decent attempt at. It was covered with angry annotations in red from a lecturer who really didn’t think I’d done well at all on this piece. However, instead of feeling distraught about my grade, once I got over the initial disappointment, I actually felt very content about the whole thing. Because I knew I’d done my best. And that, right there, is the perfect anecdote to sum up what I believe is more important: contentment over happiness, always, for me.

I was speaking with one of my best pals this morning on Messenger (the only thing we use Facebook for now, let’s be real?) and we were discussing whether anyone is ‘truly happy’ right now. Amidst the pandemic, with livelihoods and, even more devastatingly, lives being lost, it’s hard to keep chipper all the time. But it really got me thinking back to what the entire anthology I composed was all about: is happiness really attainable? And, heck, is destination happiness really worth it?

To me, happiness is an emotion. It’s fleeting. It’s an extreme emotion – one that comes in waves. It’s impossible to strive for happiness as your end goal in life, because it’s a transitory state that will ebb and flow as you move through each chapter.

But, contentment is more achievable. It’s a state of being. Even when you’re not mega happy, you can be content. Even when things are going wrong, there’ll be something you’re content about to cling onto. Contentment suggests peace – an acceptance of how life is, and who you are. And that’s what I’m all about!

Let’s think about where we’re at right now. What stage of our lives we’re at; what we feel about our current circumstances. And how we can measure them up in terms of happiness and contentment. Here are mine:

Happiness often feels too much to live up to. Contentment, on the other hand, is in the present.

I reached out on Instagram to see what you all had to say about happiness and contentment, and the difference between the two, and it was really interesting to see what really matters. Here are your thoughts on the subject:

If we perceive happiness as a ‘destination’, then it’s clear right now, mid pandemic, none of us are there yet. The pressure to be happy all the time is a LOT, even before 2020 hit us. And when I asked ‘What does happiness mean to you?’ your answers showed happiness to be something that’s a work in progress – a destination to work towards:

Yet when I asked ‘What are the things in life that make you feel happiness?’ it was the simpler things that took precedence:

To me, that is contentment. Those moments where you feel nothing but peace, warmth and security. They may bring flashes of happiness – which is wonderful. But sometimes being content is enough.

Maybe it’s time we stripped ‘happiness’ of its power and weight. Stopped seeing it as a must-reach destination, and start thinking what matters to us, right now, in this moment. 2020 has shown us anything can be round the corner, so it’s what we do with today that really counts. xx